Control-Oriented Leadership
A central feature of an abusive church is control-oriented leadership. The
leader in an abusive church is dogmatic, self- confident, arrogant, and the spiritual
focal point in the lives of his followers. The leader assumes he is more
spiritually in tune with God than anyone else. He claims insight into Scripture
that no one else has. Or, he may state that he receives personal revelations
from God. Because of such claims, the leader's position and beliefs cannot be
questioned; his statements are final. To members of this type of church or
group, questioning the leader is the equivalent of questioning God. Although
the leader may not come out and state this fact, this attitude is clearly seen
by the treatment of those who dare to question or challenge the leader. The
leader of the movement often makes personal decisions for his followers.
Individual thinking is prohibited; thus the followers become dependent on the
leader. In the hierarchy of such a church, the leader is, or tends to be,
accountable to no one. Even if there is an elder board, it is usually made up
of men who are loyal to, and will never disagree with, the leader. This style
of leadership is not one endorsed in the Bible. According to Scripture all
believers have equal access to God and are equal before Him because we are made
in His image, and we are all under the authority of the Word of God. In 1
Thessalonians Manipulation of Members
Abusive churches are characterized by the manipulation of their members.
Manipulation is the use of external forces to get others to do what someone
else wants them to do. Here manipulation is used to get people to submit to the
leadership of the church. The tactics of manipulation include the use of guilt,
peer pressure, intimidation, and threats of divine judgment from God for
disobedience. Often harsh discipline is carried out publicly to promote
ridicule and humiliation. Another tactic is the "shepherding" philosophy. As practiced in
many abusive churches this philosophy requires every member to be personally
accountable to another more experienced person. To this person, one must reveal
all personal thoughts, feelings, and discuss future decisions. This personal information, is not used to help the member, but to control
the member. Another means of control is isolation. Abusive churches may cut off contact
between a new member and his family, friends, and anyone else not associated
with the church. How different this style of leadership is from the leadership of Jesus, the
Good Shepherd who lovingly, gently, humbly, and sacrificially leads His sheep. Rigid, Legalistic Lifestyle
The third characteristic of abusive churches is the rigid, legalistic
lifestyle of their members. This rigidity is a natural result of the leadership
style. Abusive churches require unwavering devotion to the church from their
followers. Allegiance to the church has priority over allegiance to God,
family, or anything else. Often members are required or pressured to attend Bible studies five, six,
or seven days a week. There is a requirement to do evangelism; a certain quota
of contacts must be met, and some churches even require members to fill out
time cards recording how many hours they spent in evangelism, etc. Daily
schedules are made for the person; thus he is endlessly doing the church's
ministry. Former members of one church told me they were working for their
church from Members of such churches frequently drop out of school, quit working, or
even neglect their families to do the work required by the church. There are
also guidelines for dress, dating, finances, and so on. Such details are held
to be of major importance in these churches. In churches like these, people begin to lose their personal identity and
start acting like programmed robots. Many times, the pressure and demands of
the church will cause a member to have a nervous breakdown or fall into severe
depression. As I reflect on these characteristics I think of Jesus' words
concerning the Pharisees who "tie up heavy loads and put them on men's
shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger" (Matt. 23:
4). What a contrast from the leadership style of Jesus who said, "Come to
me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke
upon you. . . .For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matt. Frequent Changing of Group/Church Name
A fourth characteristic of abusive churches is a pattern of constantly
changing the name of the church or campus ministry. Often a name change is a
response to unfavorable publicity by the media. Some abusive churches have
changed their name several times in the course of a few years. If you are in such a church, one that has changed its name several times
because of bad publicity, or if you feel unceasing pressure to live up to its
demands, it is probably time to carefully evaluate the ministry of the church
and your participation in it. Denouncing All Other Churches
Let us now take a look at the fifth characteristic: abusive churches usually
denounce all other Christian churches. They see themselves as spiritually
elite. They feel that they alone have the truth and all other churches are
corrupt. Therefore, they do not associate with other Christian churches. They
often refer to themselves as some special group such as, "God's Green
Berets," "The faithful remnant," or "God's end-time
army." There is a sense of pride in abusive churches because members feel
they have a special relationship with God and His movement in the world. In his
book Churches That Abuse, Dr. Ron Enroth quotes a former member of one
such group who states, "Although we didn't come right out and say it, in
our innermost hearts we really felt that there was no place in the world like
our assembly. We thought the rest of Christianity was out to lunch."
However the Bible makes it clear, that there are no spiritually elite groups or
churches. Ephesians 4:3þ6 states, "Make every
effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one
body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope, when you were called,
one Lord, one faith, one baptism; One God and Father of all." The Christian church universal is united by the same God, the same Holy
Spirit, and the fundamental beliefs of the Bible which include such things as
the Trinity, authority of the Bible, the death and resurrection of Jesus, the
deity of Christ, justification by faith alone, and so on. In these central
truths we stand united. A church which believes itself to be elite and does not
associate with other Christian churches is not motivated by the spirit of God
but by divisive pride. Persecution Complex
The sixth characteristic follows naturally. Because abusive churches see
themselves as elite, they expect persecution in the world and even feed on it.
Criticism and exposure by the media are seen as proof that they are the true
church being persecuted by Satan. However, the persecution received by abusive
churches is different from the persecution received by Jesus and the Apostles. Jesus and the Apostles were persecuted for preaching the truth. Abusive churches
bring on much of their negative press because of their own actions. Yet, any
criticism received, no matter what the source--whether Christian or secular--is
always viewed as an attack from Satan, even if the criticisms are based on the
Bible. This makes it difficult to witness to a person in such a church for he
will see your attempt to share the gospel with him as persecution. Often in
cases like these, when I am accused of persecuting, I simply reply, "I am
here talking to you with the Word of God which you say you believe. How can
this be persecution?" This approach often helps in continuing the dialogue
with a member of an abusive church who has been brainwashed to believe that all
opposition is persecution. Targeting Young Adults
The seventh characteristic of abusive churches is that they tend to target
young adults ages 18-25 who are in the middle class, well educated, idealistic,
and often immature Christians. Young adults are the perfect age group to focus
on because they are often looking for a cause to give their lives to, and they
need love, affirmation, and acceptance. Often these churches will provide this,
and the leaders frequently take the role of surrogate parents. Painful Exit Process
The eighth characteristic is a painful and difficult exit process. Members
in many such churches are afraid to leave because of intimidation, pressure,
and threats of divine judgment. Sometimes members who exit are harassed and
pursued by church leaders. The majority of the time, former members are publicly
ridiculed and humiliated before the church, and members are told not to
associate in any way with any former members. This practice is called shunning. Many who leave abusive churches because of the
intimidation and brainwashing, actually feel they have left God Himself. None
of their former associates will fellowship with them, and they feel isolated,
abused, and fearful of the world. One former member of a particular campus
ministry said, "If you leave without the leadership's approval, condemnation
and guilt are heaped upon you. My pastor told me he thought it was satanic for
me to leave and wondered if I could continue my salvation experience." Let me conclude this discussion by sharing some practical ways of reaching
those who are involved in abusive churches. First, we must begin with prayer.
Witnessing to those brainwashed in abusive churches is often intimidating and
difficult. Often leaders will not allow an individual member to meet with an
outsider unless accompanied by an older, more experienced person who is trained
in debating and/or intimidation. Therefore, we must pray (1) for a chance to
speak with the individual and (2) that he would be open to what we have to
share. Second, lovingly confront the person and surface some biblical issues. Often,
abusive churches have a bizarre teaching or a theological error that can be
pointed out. In his book Churches That Abuse, Dr. Ron Enroth documents
several examples of this. For instance, the leader of one church had strange
teachings based on his claims of extra-biblical revelations from God.(3) These included dietary laws, sexual behavior, home
decorations, and others. The leader of another group called doctors
"medical deities." He also claimed medicines had demonic names and if
taken, opened a person up to demonic influence.(4)
Pointing out errors, inconsistencies, and bizarre beliefs may open the
individual's mind and prompt him to begin asking questions. Third, share articles you may find in the newspaper or in magazines on the
particular church under discussion. The book that I have often quoted from, Churches
That Abuse,
is an excellent resource. The key is to get the individual to start asking
questions and research answers for himself. Tell him to test everything with
the Scriptures and not to be afraid to ask questions. If the leader is afraid
or hesitant to answer a member's honest questions, the maturity of that
leadership may be suspect. Jesus, however, said that truth is a means of freedom, not bondage. He said,
"You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John Notes 1. Ronald Enroth, Churches That Abuse
(Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 1992), p. 118. |